On May 27, 2019 I kissed my baby (Charlie) bye... grabbed my bags and headed to the hospital. I had so many emotions; I was excited, nervous, anxious, and sad. I couldn't wait to meet my new baby, but I was sad that Charlie had to share her mommy with another baby, especially since it was only the second night I had ever spent apart from her.
Darab was on-call that night, so he was already at the hospital. My cousin, Dorsai, drove me to the hospital and stayed with me all night. I had elected to get induced, for a couple reasons, one being he was measuring big and two being, our house renovations were nowhere near ready. I had finally accepted the fact that we would not be bringing our baby to our new home. Rather, we would all be heading down to my parents' house in Orange County. My doctor said if I went into labor in Orange County, I would have been better off going to the nearest hospital. With unpredictable LA traffic, I didn't want to take the risk of going into labor too far from Cedars.
After I checked in Darab started my IV. It was so painless and the placement was amazing. He put it on my forearm, so that it didn't limit the movement of either arm. They induced me at 10:30 PM and things seemed to be progressing quickly. I couldn't believe I would be meeting Teddy soon. I got my epidural around midnight. By eight in the morning I was fully dilated and ready to meet the missing piece to our family.
After three pushes..
TEDDY GREY arrived at 8:49 AM.
They handed me the most beautiful BIG baby boy, but I knew something was wrong. His color was off, and he wasn't breathing or crying. After a few second they whisked him away. I felt so helpless. Darab was trying to reassure me he was okay and just needed a little extra help breathing. After a couple minutes his oxygen levels didn't improve so two more doctors showed up to our room.
Ten minutes in, we had ten doctors and nurses in our delivery room. I had tears rolling down my face and they asked everyone to guess his weight. I said 8.5 some nurses said 8.8. the scale showed 11.6 everyone was shocked and said that can't be right so they weigh him again and his actual weight was 8.11.
They told me to kiss my baby then they took him to the NICU. Darab went with him. The next couple day were the scariest days of my life. They took my baby at 9:10 AM and I wasn't going to see him until 2:30 PM. They said my bleeding had to go down, I needed to use the restroom on my own, and eat a meal. I rushed to do all of this as fast as possible. I immediately attempted to pump but I wasn't producing enough milk, because I was so stressed and didn't get to do skin to skin. We ended up supplementing with formula while we were at the hospital. Charlie came to see me at noon and that helped bring me a little joy. At 1:30 PM I begged the nurses to take me to see my baby, but she said I had to have a real meal first. I broke down and cried.
At 2:30 PM I finally got to see my little boy. He was so fragile. He was in a box with tubes and cords all over him. I held his little hand. Now the waiting game began. He had to have a chest x-ray to make sure there wasn't something missing as to why he was having trouble breathing. Fortunately, all of the tests came back fine, and he was slowly getting better on his own with a little support to help his breathing.
Usually the process to get from post-partum to the NICU involved having a nurse transport you in a wheelchair. That night I was so sick of waiting for someone to come wheel me over to the NICU that I ended up walking on my own. The next couple days I just went and came as I pleased. The walk felt like a mile. I for sure overdid it with the walking, but you couldn't keep this momma away from her baby. The nurses joked that I was never in my room when they needed to check on me.
The ICU was very slow about weaning him from the extra oxygen and Darab was on them like a hawk. We just wanted him out of the ICU and in our arms.
Kids are not allowed into the NICU, so Charlie had to meet her baby brother for the first time VIA Facetime. Her and Darab were in my hospital room and I was in the NICU. When she was him she said "TEDDY, baby brother" My mommy heart melted.
The day we checked out Cedar-Sinai gave us a family suite in the NICU so Charlie could meet her baby brother. She loved him!
It wasn't the hospital experience I was expecting but I am so thankful for all the amazing doctors and nurses at Cedars and a big thank you the NICU at Cedars for all of the amazing care!
I have so much respect for NICU mamas. Not having your baby in your hospital room is so hard. I would hear other babies cry in the middle of the night and my heart would break.